Sodas in Which You May Not Be Entirely Aware of: Grapefruit Kiss

14 Jun, 2016 by Eddie Morin

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The soda featured in this quarter’s S.I.W.Y.M.N.B.E.A.O. is Grapefruit Kiss. I’ll be honest with you – this one was difficult for me to choose. It’s just a real classy soda, and I am reminded of my lowly station when in the presence of Kiss. Oh well, I’ll get over it. I will be doing a much more simplified exposure than I normally do this time (as this article is due tomorrow morning and I don’t want to be punished again). I am bringing forward a new feature I call “Word on the Street” to liven up the review. Let’s take a big sip and dive right in.

When first glancing at Kiss, you can see that the bottle and label are done in a traditional style. The bottle is transparent green which tricks the brain into immediately thinking of general crispness. This green is contrasted by the yellow grapefruit on the label and the yellow cap. Both of these are round, which obviously shows that the manufacturer was paying attention to symmetry. Lastly, bright red letters spell out the soda’s name followed by the phrase, “with other citrus flavors.” Red, highlighting the word “kiss” being the color of passion, gets the drinker ready for some primo action. And the other, unspecified citrus flavors? We have a mystery here, ladies and gentlemen, and I am excited to see where this is taking us!

All in all, I’m totally pumped to try Grapefruit Kiss even before opening the bottle. When I finally twist off the cap, I’m greeted with a sparkling effervescence. Delightful.

*BAM* Surprise “Word on the Street” feature!

I conducted a survey and compiled the best responses to the question of what average humans think of Grapefruit Kiss. Here they are:

Eric Shew: “I think it tastes more like Fresca than Squirt. I’ve only had one Kiss soda ever.”

Ross Negrete: “I don’t know if I’ve ever had it. I’ve never looked at the bottle until now. It looks fresh.”

Benny Bagels: “I know I’ve had it. It’s mega-juicy.”

*BLAMMO* Word on the Street over!

The taste really matches the bottle. It’s crisp and classy. It’s much less sour than squirt. Simply put, if you are looking for a nice summer grapefruit experience, you could do a lot worse than Kiss. We sell Kiss at B & G Tasty Foods and my favorite thing about Kiss is when someone orders it, I get to say to one of the kitchen staff, “Hey, can you go in the back and gimme a Kiss?”

Eddie Morin

I’m Eddie Morin. I’m from Omaha. I run B & G Tasty Foods, and I like eating food, playing video games and dinking around with my wife and kids. I used to not be so fat. That’s all I really think there is to me.