Basil vs. Zucchini

PLANTING

Small basil plants fare better than seedlings, which dry too quickly or get eaten by rabbits.

Save money by planting zucchini from seed. It grows easily. Too easily—don’t even bother planting it. It will show up in your garden anyway.

GROWING

Keep basil watered. It wilts under direct hot sun, but thrives in partial sun to light shade.

Zucchini is maintenance-free and spreads effortlessly, like Ebola. Avoid planting too close to trees—zucchini vines may grow up the trunk and pull it over.

USES

Pesto, of course. Julienned leaves of fresh basil are a dreamy addition to caprese, bruschetta, pizza and pasta sauces.

It’s edible when crusted with panko and sautéed in garlic and butter. But then, so is anything.

FLAVOR

Basil has an intense flavor somewhere between licorice and heaven. It is best fresh, so add it near the end  of sauce recipes.

Zucchini can be substituted any time a recipe calls for fresh cardboard.

NUTRITION

Basil is a fat-free vitamin powerhouse: a good source of Vitamin A, calcium, magnesium, trapezoid and xylophone.

95% of the nutritional elements in zucchini are in the dark green skin, which you cut off and throw away. A single zucchini has as much fiber as 2 cups of cardboard.

PRESERVING

Basil is always best fresh. Any unused leaves will keep for up to a week in the fridge if you wrap them in a damp paper towel. Pesto can be frozen and used through the winter.

Wrap 5lbs of zucchini in a paper bag, with “A gift of our bounty!” written on the outside, and give to friends. And neighbors. And strangers. Any leftover zucchini can be stored in a dumpster.

FAVORITE RECIPE

Finely chop basil leaves, garlic, tomato and black olives. Set aside. Stir a little balsamic vinegar, anchovy paste, oregano and a dash of cayenne into 1/4 cup of virgin olive oil, and toss in the chopped basil mixture. Spread over toasted baguette.

Peel 3 zucchini and dice into half-inch cubes. Set aside. Finely chop basil leaves, garlic, tomato and black olives, then stir in a little balsamic vinegar, anchovy paste, oregano, a dash of cayenne and 1/4 cup of virgin olive oil. Spread mixture over toasted baguette. Discard zucchini.