Issue 27

Posts From Michael Campbell

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Michael Campbell

Michael Campbell

Michael Campbell is a regular humor columnist for Food & Spirits Magazine, where his “Dumpster” essays close every issue. His first book, Are You Going To Eat That, is a collection of 60 essays released in 2009. His off-beat observations have appeared in Reader’s Digest, and he was recently named Humor Writer of The Month by the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop. Campbell is also a singer-songwriter known for purposeful melody and evocative storytelling in the likes of Marshall Crenshaw, Paul Simon and James Taylor. His newest album is due for release in fall 2014. michaelcampbellsongwriter.com His mom is still waiting for him to get a real job.

The Dumpster: Tasting Ghosts

Let’s say you come home to the apartment you share with Johnny Knoxville and when you open the front door a gallon of paint spills on your head and of course you look up, about to say “What the f—”

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The Dumpster: Hot Stuff

Mary Avery grew up on a prehistoric dome of salt in the middle of the Louisiana marsh. It was huge: six miles around and with caves 50,000 feet deep. It belonged to her parents, so naturally she wasted no time

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The Dumpster: In the Raw

On a recent jaunt to Hawaii’s Big Island, I was introduced to the traditional bowl of raw ahi stirred up with soy sauce and sesame seeds, called poke. Although it looked like an exposed brain, I fell instantly in love

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The Dumpster: Salad Barred

When I order a cheeseburger, the waiter asks me how I want it. With cheese? What kind? Onion, lettuce, and tomato? They don’t invite me into the kitchen so I can muck around and build it myself. Yet that’s what

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The Dumpster: Knowing your hash from a hole in the ground

If the big bomb hits tomorrow or ISIS hackers succeed in melting down our power grid, I’ll be happy living off the three-day supply of leftover minestrone my wife made. There’s half a roast chicken in the fridge too. If

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Basil vs. Zucchini

Every year at this time we make a few notes regarding the hits and misses of our backyard garden so we can do better next year. Basil and zucchini were big producers this year, but what if you don’t have

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The Dumpster: Trending markets

Here in the heartland of agriculture we’ve cultured something that grows great on four acres of parking lot: the farmers market. A farmers market isn’t much of a market and there aren’t any farmers. Mostly it’s rows of big white

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The Dumpster: The Year of Eating Dangerously

Before we buttered our first roll, before the glasses were filled, before we had a chance to say grace, my mother set down the platter of turkey and announced: “Everybody—save the neck for Dad.” There was a pause as our

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The Dumpster: Party Time

“OOOOH, mints mints mints-mints-mints!” squealed the 40-ish lady in the frilly lavender dress. “I just love these wedding mints! I can’t stop eating them!” That was the truth. She devoured all the sugary green mints which had been carefully placed

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The Dumpster: You Are What You Eat

Some say you are what you eat. That’s fine, I get it: if you eat carrots, you feel good. If you eat a cheeseburger and waffle fries, you feel better. If you eat gluten-free paleo tofu, you feel like a

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